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Tuesday, January 04, 2011
I wish i could just say it out, i wish i could stop hiding some of the things i really feel...i wish i didnt have a heart and i could just say it straight without fear of losing her forever or even worse, hurting her...i hate to see, hear or know that she's crying bcause of that person...i hate the fact that the other person is a girl, so i cant punch her for making her shed tears...i hate the fact that i still think she's super blind and stupid even though she's explained to me why...i hate the fact that despite all the hurting, the other person is still the world and no.1 to her...i hate the fact that i feel so inferior and so worthless to her that saying this out sounds super crappy...i hate the fact that i want her to notice, i want her to care, i want her to treat me like how she's treating that other person(oh god, i wish for that so freaking bad)...i hate the fact that i feel that i am girly, stupid and oversensitive while typing all this down...lastly, i hate the fact that she is the world to me, the no. 1 when its not the same the other way round...its ok, someone out there probably understands, i just havnt found who yet...
Dear god, once again i thank you for everything that you have given me over this past month, and im starting to appreciate the fact that she's not gone fully, but please, one more favour i'd like to ask...open my eyes, to let me be able to understand her, cause no matter how much i tried, it just seems like i feel the same no matter what...and open her eyes too, and let her see what i think...yes, ill admit i still love her and i want her and yet im trying to give her that breathing space...at the same time im not bringing my hopes up and keeping my options open...so show me a sign, throw me a line and give me something to believe in...and please me feel less girly when im typing all this out...its not normal for guys to be doing this -.- ...i cant show my emotions in real life, so this is the best i can do to feel better...yep, i feel much better now that its all out...now lets go out and be happy again... :) Mucho Love, Le Nachos PuNKRoCKBoi at 11:34 PM | Comment
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.:Its Who I aM:. 
Nicks:Ace, Punkrockboi, Le Nachos, Kai, Boi Ongbak Ngee Ann Poly, Bukit View Sec, Keming primary Came to tis cruel world on 22 July 1989 Thinks he's a ninja destined to save the world from an evil koala bear Cant stop chewing on his handphone Still thinks tat the moon is made of cheese Daydreams alot, so dun get angry if he's nt paying attention Overall, he's a happy kid doing wat he does best, watever tat is
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