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Saturday, February 26, 2011
WHY?? i cant accept it, i cant believe it...where did i go wrong now, what can i do now...i dont know all the answers, i just dont...im pouring my heart out now, i want this over and done tonight...all my efforts seem to have gone to waste...i cant do anything right with my life, not with family, not with friends and not with love...i just dont get why life has to be so difficult, i dont get why i have to lead a life thats so empty, lonely when people are laughing and smiling and going through the life that i longed for...no matter what i do, i never feel appreciated...when i try to appreciate things, it ends before i could fully grasp it...so who do i turn to now? sky? hilda? zira? i dont even want to face these people with the state im in...not when their life seem so perfect and mine ends up in shit...i just feel so empty and depressed that i dont even wanna feel happy...i feel so stupid that i dont even know if im typing any sense...i try to be happy and things happen and hammer me down...everyone's doing the same, be it my mum, my brother and now you...i punched the friggin wall and it din do anything to divert the pain-I cant even feel it....i smoked till my last stick and i didnt even feel calm as always...i dont know what ill do now, life doesnt seem worth living anymore, and i dont need you to tell me anything about this...
I could never get you to appreciate me, i could never get you to listen to me, i could never get you to understand what im feeling, i could never get you to stay, i could never get you to love me, i could never get you to miss me, i could never get you to understand what im trying to say, i could never get you to change your stupid selfish mind...thats just it right? i could never get you to do anything...nobody could understand you, but there's nobody to understand me as well...you feel lonely when i was there all along...you cried your heart out and i did my fair share too...i didnt have anyone who tried to comfort me when i was down, nobody...you had me, but you cldnt face me...but you're not to blame right....its your feelings that made you this way...i've done so much to bottle up my emotions...and now its bursting out...i feel different around you lately, im not being me, i get scared to make a wrong move so bad i think hard before i speak...but it ends up the same...i just dont get why it had to be you...i still dont know why i cant get over you like i did to my other exs...was it the sex? ill try fucking other girls out there then...was it the face? i wldnt leave my 3rd ex if this were so...was it because i felt appreciated at times? this is impossible to get, even from you...i dont know and i never knew...i hate this and there's nothing i could even do... By now im sure you're gone again...it opened up my eyes again and reminded me saying "hey, you're alone and have always been, nobody's there at the time you need someone the most"...and yea, no, you never figured me out as much as you think you have...even if by some magical means you're till there, im not gonna hold back anything anymore...there's nothing left to lose...i cant see you the same way again...its a new start now...that felt better...hopefully i can fucking sleep now...i've had enough of emotional shit nights after listening to you with care... Nighty night fuckface, Le Nachos Labels: Dont reply to this please, it'll just be shitty PuNKRoCKBoi at 1:32 AM | Comment
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.:Its Who I aM:. 
Nicks:Ace, Punkrockboi, Le Nachos, Kai, Boi Ongbak Ngee Ann Poly, Bukit View Sec, Keming primary Came to tis cruel world on 22 July 1989 Thinks he's a ninja destined to save the world from an evil koala bear Cant stop chewing on his handphone Still thinks tat the moon is made of cheese Daydreams alot, so dun get angry if he's nt paying attention Overall, he's a happy kid doing wat he does best, watever tat is
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